"A Little This and a little That"


Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. 

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.


If there is no joy in religion, you have got a leak in your religion.


We cannot hold a torch to light another person's path without brightening our own.


Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.


Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory. 

For fast acting relief, try slowing down.

All About Dogs

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, 

then when I die I want to go where they went."

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all.

 It's the best deal man has ever made"

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love 

and always have to mix love and hate."

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, 

containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, 

which, if they are especially urgent, 

are often continued in the next yard."

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." 

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." 

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." 

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." 

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." 

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; 

inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." 

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- 

chicken, pork, half a cow. 

They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"  

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

My favorite 

Please God, make me into the person my dog thinks I am.

You Know You Are A Giant Breed Owner when:

  • -the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"
  • -you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair
  • -it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets
  • -you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are
  • -you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch
  • -you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty
  • -your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"
  • -you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle
  • -you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house
  • -after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake
  • -you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog
  • -visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively
  • -you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway
  • -you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns
  • -you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub
  • -your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time
  • -you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink
  • -you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog
  • -while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window
  • -you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling
  • -you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup
  • -you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"
  • -the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment
  • -your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis  and a personal plane
  • -you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink
  • -the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and  your dog has powdered sugar on his nose
  • -your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation
  • -you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, you take a short (but fast!) ride straight to the door
  • -the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk
  • -your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the  drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change
  • -you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television
  • -after surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's  office pulling the rolling IV stand behind him. 

The will of God will never take you to where the  
grace of God will not protect you.

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."   -Christopher Robin to Pooh 

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Staff at Schnauzerland

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